many months of silent contemplating have lead me to this point and now these words are borne out of many quiet afternoons wandering through the maze of my mind.
this is a space for clarity. for revelation and release. well, largely release.
but also for cultural musings, as i live in a small and mostly unpleasant corner of the world.
it is a nameless, faceless, endless abyss for the contents and frenzy that occupies my uncertain mind. it is admission of things i have stored very tightly in a small space somewhere deep inside. things, which i finally acknowledge, must come out.
or i will come apart
i wish to start writing more. my notebooks are full of her, my hands obediently trained to fill the blank white sheets with every detail of the slightest emotion that could possibly be linked by the tiniest thread to her.
i seek out space for something else. an expansion of me.
me without her. me without chains of expectations and very tentative hopes.
the past year has been nothing if not one prolonged, yet very concerted effort to expel her. to rid my sense, my soul and mind of her remainders.
i have not yet succeeded.
so here i am. releasing. discovering. exploring. and embracing.
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